Questions to Ask Your Potential Surrogate

These questions will help you to know what to ask before choosing a potential surrogate mother.

(Questions in italics are for traditional surrogacy arrangements).

  1. Name and age of surrogate mother.
  2. Name and age of surrogate mother’s husband/partner and/or description of relationship status.
  3. How many children do you have? Do you have legal custody of all of your children? Do you have any step children? Tell us about your children.
  4. Do you want to have any more children?
  5. Where are you from?
  6. What do you do for a living? What does your husband/partner do for a living?
  7. Why did you decide to become a surrogate mother?
  8. Does your family know that you are thinking of becoming a surrogate mother?
  9. What religion are you? What are your religious beliefs?
  10. Describe your personality. What are your interests? Hobbies?
  11. Has anyone in your household ever been arrested or convicted of a crime? Please explain.
  12. Physical characteristics including height, weight, hair and eye color, heredity.
  13. What was your high school GPA? Do you know your IQ score?
  14. What sort of extracurricular activities were you involved with?
  15. Did you attend college? What did you study? What was your GPA?
  16. Do you have any learning disabilities?
  17. Are both of your parents living? What about your grandparents? Siblings? If not, how did they pass away? How old were they?
  18. What kinds of medical conditions are prevalent in your family? Does your family have a history of cancer, heart disease, diabetes or genetic birth defects?
  19. How many pregnancies have you had? Were they easy pregnancies? Any complications during the pregnancies or births?
  20. Have you had any miscarriages? How many? When?
  21. Were your children born healthy?
  22. What medications are you currently taking?
  23. Do you have any conditions or illnesses which may prevent you becoming pregnant or which may affect your ability to carry?
  24. Have you ever been under psychological care, or hospitalized for psychiatric reasons?
  25. Do you have a history or have you ever been treated for any drug or alcohol related issues?
  26. Do you smoke?
  27. If you drink recreationally, do you have any problem with abstaining from alcohol during your pregnancy?
  28. When was your last check up with your doctor?
  29. Do you have any STDs, including herpes or HPV?
  30. What forms of birth control are you currently using?
  31. What are your thoughts on vaccines? Would you have vaccinations (such as the flu shot) during your surrogacy journey?
  32. What are your thoughts on medications for nausea relief? Did you take them with your own child(ren)? Would you use them if needed as a surrogate?
  33. Would you be comfortable with a special diet or food restrictions if asked by your intended parent(s) (such as limiting soda/coffee, organic food, etc)?


  34. If bed rest was recommended by your doctor, would you have support (both emotional and physical)?
  35. Have you ever been a surrogate mother before? If yes, please describe your previous surrogacy journeys.
  36. How many IVF attempts (or cycles) are you willing to try in order to achieve a surrogate pregnancy?
  37. How many embryos are you comfortable with transferring during each attempt?
  38. What are your feelings on becoming pregnant with twins or triplets?
  39. What are your feelings on prenatal testing/selective reduction?
  40. What are your feelings on abortion if it was found that a child was found to have birth defects?
  41. If an amniocentesis was recommended, would you be willing to have one?
  42. How do you feel about traveling for the embryo transfer?
  43. How would you feel about doing home inseminations?
  44. Do you think it will be difficult for you to give the child back to the parents? Please explain.
  45. What sort of support system do you have in place for a surrogate pregnancy?
  46. When would you plan to disclose your surrogacy journey/pregnancy with friends, family, employer etc?
  47. How does your partner feel about surrogacy? Will your partner be willing to undergo testing, sign contracts, administer medications/injections (to you), and be supportive of you throughout the journey?
  48. What kind of contact do you foresee having during the surrogate pregnancy? Do you want the intended parent(s) to attend every doctor’s appointment? Or would you only like the intended parent(s) to only attend ultrasounds, or no appointments at all?
  49. Would you prefer to have an obstetrician or midwife?
  50. Would you want to have a doula?
  51. Who would you want present at the birth? If a c-section was required, who would you want to be present?
  52. How do you feel about various forms of publicity? Would you want to share your journey on social media such as Facebook/Instagram? Would you want to share your story in the media such as newspapers/magazines/television?
  53. Would you be comfortable with having the birth photographed/video recorded?
  54. What kind of future contact do you expect to have with your intended parents or the baby? (calls, pictures, meetings, etc.)
  55. How would you feel if the child wanted to meet you?
  56. How do you feel about pumping breast milk for the baby? For how long would you be willing to do so?
  57. Would you be interested in doing a second surrogacy in the future as a sibling project if the first surrogacy worked out? How far into the future? (one year, three years, right away, etc.)