Questions to Ask Your Potential Intended Parents

These questions will help you to know what to ask before choosing potential intended parents.
  1. Name(s) and age(s) of intended parent(s).
  2. Where are you from?
  3. What do you do for a living?
  4. Where did you meet?
  5. How long have you been together?
  6. Do you have other children? Together, or from previous relationships? Do you have legal custody of all of your children?
  7. Does your family know that you are looking into surrogacy? If not, are you planning to tell them?
  8. What religion are you? What are your religious beliefs?
  9. Describe your personalities. What are your interests? Hobbies?
  10. Has anyone in your household ever been arrested or convicted of a crime?
  11. Why are you looking for a potential surrogate mother?
  12. If it is because of a medical issue, is the condition fatal? In other words, would there be a likelihood that the child would lose its parents?
  13. Have you ever been under psychological care, or hospitalized for psychiatric reasons?
  14. Is there a history of treatment for drug or alcohol related illness?
  15. How many IVF attempts (or cycles) are you willing to try in order to conceive a child?
  16. How many embryos do you foresee implanting during each attempt?
  17. What are your feelings on becoming the parents of twins or triplets?
  18. What are your feelings on prenatal testing/selective reduction?
  19. What are your feelings on abortion if it was found that a child was found to have birth defects?
  20. What are your thoughts on vaccines? Would you want your surrogate to have vaccinations (such as the flu shot) during your surrogacy journey?
  21. What are your thoughts on medications for nausea relief? Would you be comfortable with your surrogate taking these medications during the pregnancy?
  22. Is there a certain diet you would want your surrogate to follow during cycling and pregnancy?
  23. Do you have a support system in place for surrogacy issues you may be facing during this journey?
  24. When would you plan to disclose your surrogacy journey/pregnancy with friends, family, employer etc?
  25. What kind of contact do you foresee having during the surrogate pregnancy? Do you want to go to every doctor’s appointment? Or would you only like to attend ultrasounds, or no appointments at all?
  26. Who would you want present at the birth? Do you want to be there?
  27. If a c-section was required, would you be OK with the decision of your surrogate to include her partner in the room instead of the intended mother/father?
  28. How do you feel about various forms of publicity? Would you want to share your journey on social media such as Facebook/Instagram? Would you want to share your story in the media such as newspapers/magazines/television?
  29. Would you be comfortable with having the pregnancy/birth photographed/video recorded?
  30. Do you feel prepared (financially and mentally) for the possibility your baby could be born premature and/or have severe handicaps/birth injuries?
  31. Are you aware of the costs associated with surrogacy? Are you in a financial position to be able to meet those costs?
  32. Would you prefer your surrogate mother is monitored during the pregnancy/birth by an obstetrician or midwife?
  33. Would you be supportive of your surrogate’s decision to have a doula involved?
  34. What kind of future contact do you foresee having with your surrogate mother?
  35. Would you want your surrogate mother to express breast milk for the baby?
  36. Would you be interested in doing a second surrogacy in the future as a sibling project if the first surrogate motherhood journey worked out? How far into the future? (one year, three years, right away, etc.)