Questions for Intended Parents Pursuing Traditional Surrogacy

This article was written by Shauna, a former intended parent via Traditional Surrogacy that is now raising a daughter!

Traditional Surrogacy is now considered rare in Canada, representing less than 2% of surrogacy arrangements. The majority of surrogacy arrangements are now Gestational Surrogacy (where the surrogate mother has no genetic connection to the baby she carries).

What IP’s (Intended Parents) should ask themselves before pursuing Traditional Surrogacy.

  1. Do you have the support of family and friends?

  2. For an Intended Mother, will you feel resentment towards the Surrogate who is carrying the child?

  3. For an Intended Mother, will it bother you that only your husband will have a biological tie to your child?

  4. Why have you chosen Traditional Surrogacy over Gestational Surrogacy?

  5. If any problems arise during the pregnancy with your surrogate, how do you plan to work them out?

  6. Considering that the Traditional Surrogate has a biological tie to the child she carries for you, hypothetically speaking, how would you feel if your TS chose to keep the child in the end? What would you do?

  7. Are you prepared that your surrogate has the legal right to change her mind and you may only have visitation rights with your child (and possibly child support payments)?

  8. Do you want to continue a friendship with your surrogate after your surrogacy journey?

  9. How active do you want to be during the pregnancy? (Attending Dr. Appointments, ultrasound appointments, weekly updates on progress during pregnancy)

  10. How much contact do you want with your surrogate during your journey together? It’s best to be on the same page with each other so no one is expecting more or less out of it. (Could be exchanging emails a couple times per week, chatting online, talking on the phone weekly or every 2 weeks, getting together/visiting. What ever you are both comfortable with)

  11. When do you plan to tell your family and friends you’re expecting once pregnancy is achieved?

  12. Do you have any specific requirements when finding the right match? (Looks, personality, nationality, religion)

  13. Are you prepared for any negative comments or questions people may have for you regarding surrogacy?

  14. Has the Intended Father had a recent sperm count, and current STD testing done?

  15. Have you thought about the costs for the whole process, and for what could arise? (Lawyers, c-section, surrogates expenses multiples, bed rest fee, childcare costs etc.)

  16. Do you plan on being open and honest with your child when they are old enough to understand?

  17. Have you thought of things to specifically have in the contract like no smoking, no drugs, no alcohol, privacy clause?

  18. Do you have enough trust to place onto someone else to carry your child, and not be overbearing?

  19. Are you and your husband both equally committed to this?