We were introduced by a mutual friend and hit it off instantly on our first coffee date in December 2014. One of our first fond memories together was walking around our town in the snow singing some of our favourite songs at the top of our lungs. Scott would later call that the first time he thought he could marry Mel — and that was only after a few weeks 🙂
We moved in together after Christmas 2017, in a “little home in the sky,” a condo in Downtown Toronto to be closer to work. We married in December 2019 — winter has always been our season — and the next year we moved to our current home in Burlington.
Our nicknames for each other are “Sugar Bear” for Scott and “Honey Bee” for Mel (because Mel’s full name, Melissa, means “honeybee”) — on every birthday, anniversary and valentine card, Scott always draws a little cartoon bear and bee in tribute.
Scott had a typical suburban upbringing — dual-income family, grandma living in to help take care of the kids. When he was 11, his parents separated, but both always did everything possible to be there for him, providing love, support and guidance, instilling in him a love of reading, learning, writing, and generally being a know-it-all, including being the star of the high school trivia team (School Reach). He has two older brothers.
Mel grew up with her parents and little sister who is 3 years younger. Her grandparents, who immigrated from Italy before their children were born, lived very close by, and she grew up having a very close relationship with them, and with her Uncle. She spent many hours playing in their vegetable garden, and in the treehouse her grandpa built in his cherry tree. Her dad was her first coach in 5-pin bowling and tee-ball, where she was the only girl on the team. Later, Mel went on to play house league softball in an all-girls league throughout grade school and high school, as well as for the school team. Mel’s younger sister lives in Hamilton, ON with her partner and Mel and Scott’s dog-nephew Jake, a 6-year-old Rottweiler-shepherd mix rescue.
After settling into our home in Burlington in 2021, we decided the time was right to start building our family. After more than a year of trying, with no success month after month, we sought the assistance of a fertility clinic. We followed their guidance, and before needing to change our approach with medical intervention, we succeeded in becoming pregnant for the first time in late 2022.
Sadly, after only 7 1/2 weeks, the pregnancy was terminated due to medical complications. Mel suffers from generalized anxiety disorder, which is normally well under control but became badly exacerbated by the effects of the pregnancy and morphed into severe pre-natal anxiety and depression. It was an impossible decision to make but we knew we could not go any further, even though we were heartbroken that we did not get to meet our little “baby bee.”
To date, we have one frozen embryo, which we call our “special little guy.” We hope to create some siblings for them in the new year, 2024.
Since late 2020, we have lived in Burlington, a beautiful suburb on the shores of Lake Ontario. We found a little three-bedroom townhouse that just needed a bit of love, including planting a lovely pollinator-friendly garden, where we love to sit and enjoy sunny Sunday breakfasts in the summer. We already have one bedroom picked out for a nursery.
We live in a mature neighborhood with lots of green trees, parks and schools. Our baby will have five grandparents and one great-grandma that all live in the Burlington-Oakville area, whom we visit often.
Mel is a consultant specializing in implementing HR software, a role she loves, after pivoting from traditional HR. She has worked for nonprofits and other companies that share her values.
She took up knitting during the early pandemic and her first completed project was a blanket for our future baby — we are hopeful we get to use it soon! This year she also gifted a series of Christmas stockings for the whole family that she knit.
Scott’s role as an inventory analyst allows him to work with books, which he loves as an avid reader (which Mel is also.) He loves to read comics and maintains a blog where he analyzes and discusses the X-Men series.
We have been members of Body Positive Fitness since 2018, a body and fat-positive fitness studio focused on joyful movement for all bodies. Pre-pandemic we attended in-person classes focused on heavy lifting (Mel considers herself a power-lifter, albeit out of practice) but have shifted to sessions from home since then.
We are financially stable and are working with a financial advisor to best plan the way to support you during this process.
We want to build a relationship that works for all of us. We trust you to know what is best, but also hope to be able to attend some of the big appointments (location permitting). We would gladly be available for emotional support and friendship during the pregnancy.
Our surrogate will always be part of our story, and we will share that story with our child(ren): where they came from and who helped bring them to us. We would love to share updates with you as they grow. We don’t yet know who we will meet on this journey or what kind of relationship we will have with them beyond that — but we hope for something special!