Canadian Intended Parents Searching for a Gestational Surrogate
Location: Vaughan, Ontario
Embryo Status: 15 Frozen PGT-A Tested Embryos
Occupations: Teacher (Anthony) / Human Resources (Thomas)
In 2016, he/Thomas worked as a waiter and I/Anthony frequented the restaurant he worked at with my friends. After many failed attempts at flirting due to nerves, Thomas finally made the move to ask for my number. Without skipping a beat, I wrote my number on the receipt and eagerly waited for a text. I didn't have to wait long because only a short hour later, we were planning our first date. On our first date, it was clear to both of us we had found something special. Neither of us wanted the date to end so every time it came to a close one of us would suggest another thing to do - "how about we grab an ice cream?", "why don't we go for a little walk?". When the date did come to an end, we waited no time before planning another.
A couple months later and we made it official. We introduced each other to our friends and family and all welcomed us in with open arms and love. We knew very early on that we had finally met the person we would spend our lives with. We've been through amazing times together; travelled the world, graduations, new jobs, bought a home of our own, and then in 2020, Thomas proposed. In July 2022, surrounded by our closest friends and family, with our best-friend officiating, we got married. The best day.
We have so much love for one another, and are very eager to make our family go from two to three. Our go-to motto for how to live life is always "lead with love".
I/Anthony grew up in a loving home with my mom and dad and three siblings. My older brother and sister are technically "half-siblings", only we never refer to each other this way. We all have the same dad but my father was previously married which is when he had my older siblings. My mom and dad then had me some years later and finally, when I was 5, they had my younger brother. Growing up in a big family always felt special to me. I knew from seeing my friends at school, or even cousins with smaller families, that I was so incredibly lucky to have so many loving people around me. My mom and I have a bond like no other - yes, I am a momma's boy - but my dad and I are very close as well.
Both of my parents encouraged me to do anything I set my mind to. My dad is very into athletics so I was always playing soccer or swimming. I became a coach, lifeguard, and swim instructor throughout my later high school years and early university. My mom always encouraged academics, she wanted me to set myself up for a career that I would love and be supported by. Through her guidance, I became my high school valedictorian, an honours university grad (twice), and earned a Masters from UofT a few years ago. My siblings were right there along with my parents encouraging me every step of the way. The love my family had for me growing up, and today, has made me who I am.
My older siblings both got married to amazing people that I am so happy to call my "in-law sibs". My older brother also has two beautiful girls, 3 and 5, who we love endlessly. They bring our family a crazy amount of joy and happiness each day and they truly reconfirmed for Thomas and I that having our own children one day was a necessity. Sadly, my sister passed away in 2019 which, as it would anyone, took a toll on our family. We've since got even closer, though I didn't know that was possible, and live our lives loud and proudly in honour of my sister and carry her story wherever we go. Being queer, there is a much longer "coming-out" story, but in summary, my sister was the first person I told and she was the one to reassure me it would change nothing and that the family would continue to love and support me the way they always have. And of course, she was correct. My family has welcomed and loved Thomas since the day they met him and are so excited to see us begin this next chapter.
I/Thomas was my parent’s first child, and 4 years later they had my younger sister. My immediate family is very close but we are also extremely close with our extended family. Our first and second cousins on both my mother and father’s sides are all local and so family get-togethers were always full and lots of fun! Our first cousins are all within the same age group as well and so we grew up almost like siblings and are still very close today.
I/Thomas had a very privileged childhood and was lucky that my parents were able to spend so much quality time with my sister and me. We would take a family vacation every year until the end of high school and have the opportunity to visit many different countries. My parents were also very encouraging when it came to both academics and athletics. With their support, I was involved in competitive swimming until university which meant many early mornings of my father driving me to swim practice, and also many destination swim meets, some as far as Thunder Bay and some even in the USA.
I cherish the childhood that my parents were able to give me and the closeness we all had. When I introduced them to Anthony, this closeness transferred to him and he was now a favourite member of even my extended family, bonding immediately with my sister and cousins. I look forward to being able to give our future child, what I hope will be just as an amazing childhood as I was granted.
From the beginning of our relationship, we've always discussed our "baby-fever" and desires to have children one day. It was important to us both that the person we were with wanted the same thing, especially when it came to building a family. In other words, we've been planning for this moment since 2016.
We've both been surrounded by younger cousins and siblings our wholes lives and have always felt a paternal instinct and desire to have our own children one day. Becoming uncles in recent years really made it clear that this was something we want. There are many, endless reasons why we want to have children but ultimately it is very simply; we have so much love between us and so much love to give so we want to raise children who feel loved every step of the way. Right now we are two and are hopeful to find an amazing, very special person to help us have our first child and make us three.
We told a few friends we were starting this journey and our incredible friend came to us shortly after to ask if we would want her to donate eggs. We were blown away by her generosity and selflessness, and so filled with love after her suggestion. Of course we accepted this as we could not imagine finding anyone more loving, smarter, kind, and beautiful than her. And we love that our child will also have a special connection to her one day as well. We now have 15 frozen, PGT-A tested embryos ready for transfer!
Currently we live in Vaughan, Ontario and have for many years. We love the area as there are many great parks, schools, restaurants, and other fun things to do. One our favourite things to do is just walk around the area and pop in to small restaurants or bakeries and grab a bite! We also live very close to both our parents, other family, and friends. Meaning, we have endless support around us and our future child will be surrounded by the ones we love most.
We want to be very open with our future children about the processes that brought them into this world and those involved. Our friend who generously provided her eggs and our future surrogate that graciously helped us create them will certainly be discussed and valued in their lives. Overall, we want to raise our children similar to how we were raised: surrounded by love every step of the way, encouraging them to try new things and not be afraid of making mistakes, and doing our best to give them everything they need to be the best version of themselves.
I/Anthony am a teacher. I've taught many grades, from kindergarten all the way through to grade 12. Now, I have a permanent position as a high school teacher in Toronto. My favourite things to teach are Science and Special Education, however; I also teach Math, English, and Social Sciences which I very much enjoy as well. I grew up without any pets - I think my parents had their hands full with four kids - but when my older siblings got married and moved out, we got a little toy poodle named Dexter. He is now 9 years old and the cutest, bestest boy.
I/Thomas have been working in Human Resources at one of the Canadian banks for about 6 years. After high school, I went to York University and studied English Literature and then went to Humber College for a postgraduate degree in Human Resources. Growing up, my parents were not really pet people despite my sister and I always asking for a dog. Once I was 18 and saved up enough money, I decided to get Hercules - our Bichon Poodle puppy who my parents immediately fell in love with. He’s now 13 years old, and living with my parents after Anthony and I moved out.
Together, we enjoy doing many different things and find that a lot of our hobbies overlap. Sometimes we take it easy and like to stay in to watch TV/Movies, read, or play video games together while laughing and sharing stories about our days. Other times, we love finding new places to have a good meal, try something new like painting or ceramics, or just go for a walk/drive. We also love to travel. We have been many places together, explored many cities, been lazy on different beaches, toured incredible museums, and have even travelled to see our favourite artists in concert. Most days, we just love to spend time with each other, with our families, and with our friends. As long as we are surrounded by people we love, we're happy as can be.
The person who chooses to be our surrogate will be very special to us and hold a spot in our hearts forever. We want this person to feel very supported throughout the entire process. Of course we will be covering all costs related to partaking in this journey with us but, that is not the only way we are willing to support you. We want our surrogate to feel as comfortable and supported as possible, in whichever way they desire. We are completely willing to discuss how/what we can do throughout this process for you to make this just as special for you as it is for us.
We want to bring a child into this world through love and openness. Having contact with the surrogate, as long as it is something that they want as well, is something we are very happy to have after the birth. We want our children to know about the process that brought them to us and being able to put a face to the amazing person who carried them for 9 months, and perhaps have them speak with them, would be special. That said, the level of this contact is fully up to the comfort and wants of the person who chooses us for this journey and will be completely respected. We are open to any relationship prior, during, and after pregnancy, as long as our surrogate feels supported and respected at all times.
Anthony & Thomas