Wow where to begin!!!
The surrogacy journey that we embarked on has been one of the most emotional, powerful, intimate, yet rewarding experience our family will ever go through.
Our journey started back in 2012 when our fertility clinic ran out of options and hope for our family. After years of trying many different options he sat us down in his office and told us that journey stopped here. He couldn't explain to us why we couldn't have more children as our fertility issues were just "unexplained". My husband and I looked at each other and we were crushed our hopes and dreams of expending our family was officially over. All the pain, the emotional roller coaster, the injections, the monitoring, the medication, the weight gain, the dr apt's, the endless hope and the endless pregnancy test confirmed our worst fears that we were not going to expand our family. Katie would be our only child and at 7 years old at that moment I felt I needed to hold on tight to her as I felt the last 7 years were already gone like a flash of lighting. They say cherish the moments they grow up too fast but did I really cherish the moments. Did I remember her first step, her first tooth, her first crawl, did I write it down? Do I have videos of her first birthday? First friend? First solid food? All these thoughts rushed through my head as I keep hearing the dr tell my husband I am so sorry this is the end for your family.
I came home that night and laid awake sobbing to my husband the thought of having one child as much as I love her with all my heart - my heart I kept saying to my husband was just not complete, I feel it, it's empty, it needs more. My heart needs to grow. My husband spent the night researching online and came across a surrogacy website here in Canada. Surrogacy? I have never heard of surrogacy. What is surrogacy? I needed to call this lady and find out what is a surrogate?
Early the next morning I called. As I couldn't sleep the whole night wondering with thoughts of "this could be it" surrogacy. I believe I called first thing in the morning not even 8am. A sweet lady answered the phone and I asked to speak to Sally. The website said ask for Sally. "This is me, I am Sally". I paused and I thought to myself could this be my angel? The one who going to help me achieve my growing heart? I spoke with her as it seemed to me only 5 minutes however the time told a different story. It was an hour later and she was still explaining to me all about surrogacy. I listened very carefully and as she asked me each question I made sure to answer very honestly. At the end of the conversation I knew exactly how surrogacy worked and she gave me so much hope. The day before my hope was gone and here is this wonderful beautiful soul who just gently placed my hope back in my body. Not only was there hope she also explained to me I'm ahead of the game. How? Could I be hearing this correctly how am I ahead of the game? Well you have frozen embryos already your 3 steps ahead of the journey. 3 steps ahead and there is hope. This is the best news I have heard in years. One minor set back. She proceeded to tell me that my mental state is not up to par at this moment. Perhaps take a break, take a vacation, relax, and call me in 3-6 months when you are in a better mental state. Was she right? Absolutely - did I want to hear that? No, however it was the truth and if it was not for her perhaps I would not be writing this post.
So I took her advice after all she was my angel. She gave me my hope back when my hope was gone. I spent 2 months with no dr apt's that should start my healing process. My husband and I decided to go on our dream vacation(well my dream vacation) to Costa Rica and we saw the real rainforest! Not the tourist kind the actual real rainforest in a boat out on the Pacific Ocean something I have always dreamed of. We came back mid December and after Christmas and New Years it was time. Yes my angel was waiting for me I understood what she meant. I am me again the old me before fertility and drugs and dr apt and injections. If she liked me 6 months ago I am sure she going to love me now! Then that special magical night happened it was a mild February 2013 and the snow was gone and the slush and mud was all that was left in our backyard. Our dog never has to go out but that night he had to go out at 1am. I of course never heard him however the next thing I heard was our bath water running. I got up and walked to the bathroom to notice my husband giving our dog our bath with my purple lufa and him saying "tbone someday I will bathing my children" (Katie is from my first marriage, he met Katie at 3). That was the night the sign that I was going to call Sally the next day.
Again not even 8am "is Sally there" this is Sally - "Sally this is Laurie remember the lady" of course I remember you Laurie "how have you been" well Sally I took your advice. I lost 20 pounds, I saw Costa Rica, I got a promotion, I reconnected with my husband, Katie and I joined Girl Guides, Laurie that's wonderful just wonderful news you are ready to proceed to the next step welcome to Surrogacy in Canada online!
The next 11 months yes you read correctly. The next 11 months were a blur from the start of our journey to the end the finish line it took 11 months. So many years and 11 months later we held our very own little twin girl's. Sally was just amazing throughout the whole process! The emotional parts they were just different. It was still very emotional however in a very different way. Sally made me a promise to hold my hand through the whole process and she would never let go. Some days Sally held on very tight and other days she held me soft. She listen to me cry and listen to me laugh. She listen to me talk about the colours of the nursery and other days she listen to me as I felt very overwhelmed, but she made a promise she would never let go. And as our beautiful twins grow into toddlers she has never let go.
My heart is happy, it continues to grow and I thank God everyday in every way that I can that I am so thankful you sent me my angel, my Sally the one who gave me her hope when my hope was gone.