We are Dustin and Niels. Since December 13, 2015, we’ve been a couple. Our story might not be the most conventional one; we met by chance through Tinder, although we didn’t live very close to each other. Dustin was visiting an interactive museum about the human body called Corpus when he opened Tinder and matched with Niels. After chatting for a long time – about six months – we finally met in early December. During our first date, we talked a lot, as if we’d known each other for years. And that day marked the start of our journey together. From that moment on, we were inseparable, even after Dustin’s unfortunate cooking skills (almost nine years later, we still haven’t had wraps with Oriental chicken again…).
Not long after, we introduced each other to our friends and families. The reactions were positive, with perhaps the most enthusiastic coming from our niece Benthe. When Benthe was six months old, she met Dustin for the first time. It was a tense moment because Benthe had her preferences when it came to people. We jokingly called it “the big test”… 😉 Benthe sat on Dustin’s lap, started laughing, and eventually fell asleep in his arms. Something that many people had not succeeded in doing yet.
Along with many wonderful and joyful moments, our first year together also came with its share of ups and downs. Dustin was a caregiver for his mother, who had MS. In 2016, she passed away at the age of 58. As you can imagine, that was a tough period, but we were grateful for the love and support we had for each other, which helped us get through it.
Around the same time, just weeks after her passing, we welcomed our furbaby, Ace, into our lives. Ace is a Norwich Terrier. Although small in size, he has a big personality and an even bigger heart. He’s best friends with our nieces, loves attention from both children and adults, and is adored by everyone – even a friend who’s not a dog person at all!
Niels is a stable presence: he is consistent, rational, well-organized, thoughtful, and steadfast. His principle is: a deal is a deal. He is a loving partner who cares deeply for the people around him. At first, Niels tends to observe and assess the situation, but once he feels comfortable, you’ll be bombarded with puns and other (sometimes truly awful) jokes. For instance, he hides in the most unlikely spots around the house daily to give Dustin a scare 😉
After finishing high school in 2009, Niels started studying to become a German teacher. He always wanted to work in education—teaching and helping children learn is his passion. Right at the beginning of his studies, he also started working as a German teacher, teaching students aged 12 to 18. Since 2019, he has been a department head, managing a part of the staff and being responsible for the education of students in his department. Niels is highly dedicated to his work and always ensures that the education provided to students meets a high standard. Currently, he is also completing a master’s degree in educational management and hopes to eventually become the principal of a secondary school.
And Dustin?
Dustin is an active young man—sitting still is not often on his agenda. He approaches everything with a big dose of enthusiasm and energy. He is caring, creative, active, empathetic, and goal-oriented. A day with Dustin is never dull; something special is always happening, and you’re guaranteed a full day of activities. When we’re on vacation, our step counter really gets a workout…😉
After finishing high school, Dustin began studying to become an occupational therapist. During his school years, he often accompanied his family to the hospital and rehabilitation center, where he saw firsthand the impact therapists had on his mother’s recovery. That’s what Dustin wanted to do too! At age 20, he started working in the same rehabilitation center where his mother had been treated. He’s no longer working there but is now an occupational therapist for individuals with intellectual and multiple disabilities. He works with children, teenagers, and young adults facing a range of physical and mental challenges, helping them achieve as much independence as possible.
What does our egg donor says about us?
We’ve chosen for a known egg donor, with whom we still have good contact with. We could tell about how WE experienced the process, but why not asking our egg donor? She wrote following statement:
My time as an egg donor with Dustin and Niels has been an incredible journey. From the very beginning, they have been so supportive, kind, and thoughtful, making the entire process feel comfortable and empowering. We initially bonded over our mutual love for Mamma Mia 😂 and it’s been a joy to stay in touch with them after the donation, share pictures, videos and watch their excitement and anticipation grow as they continue to build their family. They’re both such warm and loving people – with a good sense of humour! I’m beyond excited for them to meet the other woman who will help them become dads—the dream team! It’s such a special moment in their journey, and I feel truly honored to be a part of it!.
OUR FAMILY & UPBRINGING
Our family consists of Niels, Dustin, and Ace. Since we’ve been together for so long, we no longer feel any distinction between us—Niels’ family has become mine, and vice versa. However, to make the story a bit easier to follow:
Niels’ family consists of his father and mother, who have been married for 44 years. Niels also has a sister who is seven years older and lives with her new partner. Niels’ sister has a daughter, Benthe, who is very important to us. From the beginning of our relationship (and for Niels even six months earlier), we’ve been smitten with this girl, and the feeling is mutual. To her, we are Uncle Dusty and Uncle Niels. She couldn’t believe that Uncle Niels had known her all her life while Uncle Dusty joined six months later. In her mind, we’ve always been together.
She regularly comes over to bake, skate, swim, or play board games with us. And when she gets to spend the night, it’s a full-blown celebration. She’d be thrilled to have a little cousin to play with. Niels’ sister’s new partner has two daughters as well. Although we haven’t known them as long, they love coming over to walk Ace or play games. Now that they’re older, they even come by on their own initiative, which we think is fantastic!
Dustin’s family consists of his father and his younger brother, who is 3.5 years his junior. As mentioned above, Dustin’s mother passed away in 2016 due to complications from MS. Dustin and his family are very close and spent 12 years sharing the care for his mother to ensure she was never alone and always well cared for. Dustin also has a close bond with his aunt, his mother’s younger sister, and her two daughters.
From a young age, they did a lot together, frequently staying over at each other’s houses or going to amusement parks and zoos. Even now, they maintain regular contact, going out to eat or attending musicals together.
These are our families, but we also have many friends who are incredibly dear to us. We know them from work, studies, primary and secondary school. We try to see them as often as possible, but even if months pass, it doesn’t matter—we pick up right where we left off. We’re there for each other in tough times and to celebrate the good times.
Everyone deserves to be mentioned here, but that would make this story far too long. All our friends know what we’re working towards and often ask about it. They’re all very excited and can’t wait to welcome a little baby!
Our child will grow up in a loving environment.
We believe it’s important that they can be whoever they want to be. We want to teach our child that everyone belongs in this world and that we should care for one another whenever possible.
We’ve surrounded ourselves with a wonderful group of family and friends who share these values, and we’re so grateful that our child will have the chance to grow up in such an environment and society.
We believe there can never be too many amazing people like this, and we hope that our child will grow up embracing these beautiful values.
OUR DREAM TO BECOME FATHERS
From the very beginning of our relationship, one thing was certain: we want to become fathers. We both adore children and secretly chuckle at all the naughty things they can do.
In 2019, we began exploring parenthood and researched all possible options. In 2020, we aimed to solidify our plans for parenthood, but this was hindered by COVID. We attended online conferences nonetheless. Another obstacle arose when all adoption procedures in the Netherlands were halted.
In 2022, we engaged in discussions with a friend who expressed interest in being our surrogate. However, due to health issues and a broken relationship, she indicated that she didn’t have the mental capacity for it. As difficult as it was, we naturally respect her decision and fully understand it.
And now here we are… Two young men, searching for a special woman willing to carry our baby.
OUR HOME
Since 2018, we have been living in a single-family home with a garden in Rijnsburg. That’s a village in the Netherlands, in the agglomeration of The Hague. We live near the beach and the tulip fields. In spring and summer, we enjoy our garden and the beach, together with Ace. Within walking distance, Niels’s parents and Niels’s sister (and, of course, our niece and brother-in-law) live.
WHAT WE LIKE TO DO
Since we’ve been together, we’ve discovered one shared interest: traveling. Over the past few years, we’ve visited many cities and regions in Europe to explore new places. Especially the Southern European countries (Spain, Italy, and Greece) are our favorites. Mostly because of the beautiful scenery, incredibly kind and hospitable people, and of course, the delicious food.
Although we love being just the two of us, we also enjoy spending time with our families and friends. Every year, we organize an Easter brunch for our families, and we also plan various events for our birthdays and Christmas. On these occasions, another hobby of ours comes to light: cooking. We always strive to outdo ourselves from the last gathering.
As mentioned earlier, we also enjoy going to the beach, together with Ace. During the winter months, dogs are allowed to roam freely on the beach, and for Ace, that’s the best time of the year. He loves being out and about with us, and it makes us happy to see him enjoying himself.
Individually, we also have our own interests: Dustin enjoys sports and gardening. He spends about an hour in the garden every week. And when the weather isn’t favorable, he continues his gardening endeavors indoors; we even have a dedicated plant room! Niels, on the other hand, is more interested in media, computers, and photography. He’s interested in taking a photography course to capture even more beautiful photos and potentially edit them as well.
OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR FUTURE SURROGATE
As intended parents, we see our surrogate as an indispensable partner in a remarkable journey. From the very first contact, we strive to build a warm, respectful relationship, where mutual trust is at the heart of everything. We support her through every stage, paying close attention to her well-being and needs.
Before the pregnancy, we focus on laying a strong foundation. We accompany her to medical appointments and discuss every step together to ensure she feels confident throughout the process. We foster an open and equal relationship, creating space for questions, concerns, and personal stories.
During the pregnancy, we remain closely involved. We are always available to listen and provide support, both practically and emotionally. We encourage her to take good care of herself and offer additional attention whenever needed to ensure she feels as comfortable as possible. Our involvement is genuine, respecting her boundaries and wishes at all times.
After the birth, we ensure she has the time and space to recover and make sure she knows how much we value her incredible contribution. Whether she chooses to stay in touch or not in the future, we respect her decision and will always remain deeply grateful for the special role she has played in our lives.
For us, surrogacy is about more than creating a family; it is a shared experience of connection, trust, and mutual care. Together, we build a story filled with love and respect.
Additionally, we believe in being transparent about the practical aspects of surrogacy. The medical costs, including IVF treatments and other essential care, are fully covered through an international parent package we have arranged. This package has been carefully designed in alignment with Canadian legislation, which supports altruistic surrogacy. We adhere closely to these regulations to ensure all parties feel supported and protected within the legal framework. In this way, we create a safe and caring environment where both our surrogate and our family are at the center.
We see this journey as a special and shared journey, where we would like to be kept informed about the development of our child and where possible we can offer support to the surrogate mother during the pregnancy. We are aware that we live in different time zones. That may make it more challenging to have contact with each other, but there are of course plenty of opportunities to get and stay in touch with each other. We are happy to coordinate this with the surrogate mother. We hope that the contact is casual and that there are common interests.
The journey of surrogacy is a shared path, and we hope to walk it together with someone like you. Thank you for this opportunity.