Dutch Intended Parents Searching for a Gestational Surrogate
Location: Eindhoven, Noord Brabant, Netherlands
Embryo Status: frozen PGT-A tested embryos
Occupations: Usability Designer (Jeroen) / Sustainability Consultant (Jesus)
A Bit about Us and How we Grew up
This is Jeroen and Jesus. We are a gay couple. I, Jeroen, in particular, have always wanted to be a father, and was looking for the right man to be parents with. I am blessed to have found him now. We are an international couple. Jeroen (42 years old) is a Dutch Canadian, and Jesus (34 years old) is Mexican transitioning to have a bit of Dutchness too. We live and met in the Netherlands. In the south to be precise. In the city of Eindhoven, which is quite international and a decade ago was deemed the smartest region in the world.
We have been together for over six years. We met through a “magic” app and went on our first date, and if somebody had planned it, it would have never been that perfect. At that time Jesus was a Master’s student and Jeroen had just accepted a new position at Philips Design.
After a couple of months, Jesus suggested that we should find a place together. That was a bit of a shock for Jeroen, to move so quickly, but we gave it a try at around the 6 months mark together, and we have been living together ever since.
This time together has been wonderful. We found out we are a good team, and that we complement each other. Jesus is a wonderful cook and Jeroen folds clothes like nobody else.
I, Jesus, was raised in a big family of five in Mexico. As the eldest I helped taking care of my siblings. My dad had a bakery, so I was never a fan of donuts because they were always available. For us, it was very important to go to church, and spending quality time with our family, including abuelita.
I lived almost my entire life in the same city. Thus, it was big step for me when I crossed the ocean for the first time to study in Europe. I was raised to always have a clean and orderly place, which I keep up until this point. Since I was kid, I have always shown a lot of empathy for the people around me.
I, Jeroen, was raised in a Dutch Canadian family who moved a lot across Canada (with a brief stay in Netherland when I was 6-8 years old). This included living in several cities, on a farm, and in small coastal towns. Each place I went, I would quickly adjust my accent to be more like the locals. Recently, now that I live in the Netherlands, I had the strange experience of going to my hometown in Canada and having to repeat myself at the Tim Hortons as they could not understand my accent!
Having Dutch ancestry made the culture shock of moving to the Netherlands less. The most shocking were things my parents told me about the Netherlands growing up that are no longer the case. (E.g., children are more well behaved in the Netherlands, though now I wonder if that was just a way to try and get us to behave ;) ).
Holidays were very important to us, and I go home to see my parents every Christmas.
I, Jeroen, work at Philips Design as a usability designer. This means I am involved in developing a wide variety of medical devices and making sure that the medical professionals who use them can use them safely and effectively and that they consider them easy to use. To not get into details, I sometimes say “I help doctors fix broken hearts” as many of the products have been related to image guided therapy and the various cardiac treatments that these technologies enable. Prior to that I have also worked with artists and fashion designers at the Banff Arts Centre making wearable technology.
I, Jesus, have done a little bit of everything. I am a chemical engineer and I have been a process engineer, worked with bank accounts, and was a kindergarten teacher (so I am the most experienced with children). Right now, I am a corporate engagement manager at an international NGO. My work is to create opportunities for farmers around the world so that they have a better life.
For fun, we like to cook, bake, and clean (Jesus at least ;) ). Our new hobby is gardening. We enjoy having our friends for dinner. And, oh boy, do we love to travel. We have been to many different places around the world. Of course, Mexico, Canada, and the Netherlands but also Japan, Turkey, Brazil to name a few. We love a wide variety of food from many different cuisines. This includes spicy food, and surprisingly Jeroen can handle more spice than Jesus.
Jesus is more extroverted and is quite friendly and good at socialising which makes us a good compliment. Jesus is generous and always looks for ways to help people out. Jesus has a great deal of empathy for others and is always protective of people around him. One of his ambitions in life is to establish his own company in which he can combine his drive to stop climate change and fight social injustice. Jesus is understanding, and always likes to be the diplomat, and is always positive. He enjoys every single aspect of life. He finds great support in God through prayer and reading the Bible. Jesus likes plane spotting, designing iconography, and likes to advocate against injustice.
Jeroen is a kind old soul, and the more introverted of the two. He has a Meyer’s Briggs INFP type which reflects that he cares deeply and is sensitive to those around him at least when his head is not in the clouds. As he is also a dreamer and avid reader and can delve deeply into many a topic. In the end, Jeroen hopes that he will be able to leave a positive impact on the world and the people in his life in some small meaningful way. Jeroen is also quite passionate about music, when he was younger that was through choir and playing saxophone and later in life that became a passion for ballroom dancing. He enjoys more of the individual sports and has been involved in a variety throughout his life: swimming, skiing, sailing, biking. As well as, he has been up to trying some more adventurous ones like surfing, snorkelling, and hang-gliding when travelling.
Why Surrogacy for us and our Journey so far
The simple answer is we are a gay couple, so we cannot have children without your help :).
We are excited that we have PGT-A tested embryos ready to go! At the end of April, in 2022 our wonderful egg donor donated, and our embryos were created on Jesus's sister's birthday! We will be ever grateful to our donor.
We have been on a longer journey than expected, as we previously were connected with both an egg donor and a surrogate. We were excited as a good friend of ours wanted to be our egg donor. Due to Covid many things were delayed and after understanding the process more thoroughly, the egg donor who had never donated before decided it was not something for her. We were saddened, but of course respect her decision.
The surrogate who lives in Canada and who had recently had her own baby wanted to visit her family in Europe before becoming a surrogate. However, she did not want to get vaccinated for Covid-19 and unfortunately to travel internationally a vaccination is necessary or quarantine, and she also did not want her children to have to quarantine. Thus, she will not be able to see her family in Europe, likely for years. We hope for her that she will be able to go sooner, but do not want to wait years (if ever) to continue our journey to having children.
Connection and Support of you our Wonderful Surrogate
We will be incredibly grateful to you, the amazing woman who is making our dreams possible!
Of course, we will cover all the expenses, as allowed by the Canadian government.
As an international couple, we will be able to video chat, or call via whatever communication channels you prefer whenever you need.
We aim to be there near the pregnancy date and support you in whatever way we can.
If there is anything else you would need, we are definitely open to support you.
We are hoping to have two children through this surrogacy process, and later consider possibly adopting a third.
We are quite open and flexible in the type of relationship we would have with you. We want the relationship to be comfortable for you as the surrogate. The following is the starting point as to how we see a relationship that would work well for us.
After a few video chats and we have made the decision to take this journey together, it would be great if we could meet in person in Canada, somewhere early in the process. If you would like you would be more than welcome to come visit us at our home in the Netherlands, before or early in the pregnancy.
During pregnancy, we were thinking of a weekly or bi-weekly video call check-in. We would like to be there at the birth at the hospital, though not necessarily in the room.
We believe in the importance of breastmilk, and we are hoping you also believe in the importance of breastmilk and are willing to support this. We would stay somewhere close for the first few months, to facilitate the delivery of the pumped breastmilk.
After we return to the Netherlands as proud new parents, we would like to stay in touch as part of the extended circle of friends. Years later, when our children are of the right age, and if they ask, we hope you would be open to meeting them.
Looking forward to getting to know you and starting this exciting journey together.
Jeroen & Jesus