Canadian Intended Parents Searching for a Gestational Surrogate
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Embryo Status: 5 Frozen PGS embryos
Occupations: Research Director (Daniel)/Operational Policy Analyst (Cameron)
We met in 2010 while Daniel was on vacation in Vancouver, where Cam lived. He was in town for only 4 days, but that’s all it took for us to know we’d be together for a long time. Day one we met; day two we kissed; day three we had a movie date and day 4 we said “see you again soon”. Despite living halfway across the world from each other at the time (Cam in Vancouver and Daniel in France) we carried on a long-distance relationship for a year and a half before we were able to move to Ontario together. We married in 2015, adopted our cat Dory in 2016 and welcomed our daughter to the world in 2021.
Cam: I was born and raised in North Vancouver, BC. I have an older brother (who is expecting his first child early in 2022) and a twin sister. I’d like to think my upbringing and family are relatively normal and uneventful. My parents both worked in education, so school was always important for my family, and I have happy memories of childhood and times with my family to Vancouver Island to visit my grandparents. My parents always referred to themselves as “dog people”, however we grew up with two cats which my mom attributes to my fondness of cats as a kid. I went to University of Victoria, BC, and then back to Vancouver after where I worked for several years for the federal government.
Daniel: I was born and raised in the suburbs of Toronto with two older brothers and a large Italian extended family. I've always been close with my family and to this day still have a weekly Sunday dinner with my parents and brothers and niece and nephew. Some of my fondest memories of growing up were annual camping trips with my dad and summers at our family cottage on Georgian Bay. It's a great joy for me to think about sharing these same experiences with our daughter. As I grew up, my studies took me out of the country - I spent several years in Europe completing my master's and PhD - but in the end I settled back in Toronto so I could continue to be close to my family.
We both have siblings we are close with and those relationships are and have been extremely important to us throughout our lives. We want our family to be enriched not only through the parent-child bond but through the close relationship between siblings. We also like the idea of having a second child. While our daughter is a handful and exhausting, we’re also having lots of fun and we like to think we’re doing a pretty good job of things so far! One thing that can be said for sure, our daughter and any future children will be so loved, and it’s this love that’s kept us motivated to get through all the challenges we face as a gay couple trying to have children, and all the ups and downs along the way.
We’re pursuing surrogacy out of necessity – as a gay couple there are only a few pathways to parenthood available to us and so we chose to create our family with the help of surrogates. Having a family of our own was something we’d always known we wanted. The journey to have our daughter was challenging and emotional, but also beautiful, touching, eye-opening, rewarding, and a thousand other wonderful things we didn’t expect. We grew stronger as a couple and as parents and formed a close and unique relationship with our surrogate. When we finally brought our daughter home, it’s hard to imagine a child coming into a home more loved and wanted than she was.
We currently have 5 embryos frozen and stored with our fertility clinic in Toronto and after that years-long journey to bring our daughter Ruth into the world, we are eager to complete our family and, with your help, give her a little brother or sister.
Daniel: I'm the Director of Research for a research institute and prior to my parental leave I was lucky enough to get to spend my work days talking with and helping researchers all over the world. I'm currently on parental leave looking after our daughter Ruth, which, although exhausting has been an incredible experience that I'd happily do again. I'm an avid baker with far too many cookbooks and can often be found pulling some new concoction out of the oven to share with my family. I love to garden and plant a variety of flowers and vegetable every year and more recently this interest has led me to begin creating bonsai trees. I play the saxophone and prior to the pandemic was part of a local band, which I hope to return to when we're able.
Cam: I work in policy for a government agency, conducting research and supporting various projects. Lots of my past work has involved "customer-facing" roles helping people, which I enjoy, so it's a bit strange to be more "behind-the-scenes" these days. In my free time, I enjoy eating Dan's baked goods, being physically active (exercising, swimming, or hiking), reading, videogames, and napping.
Pandemic disruptions aside, we enjoy spending time with friends, eating out and going to the theatre or movies. When we were able to we loved to travel, in particular to take road trips and hiking trips - something we'd love to continue to do when were able and to share with our daughter. Our most recent trip (pre-pandemic) was a road trip through Arizona where we went to the Grand Canyon and the surrounding areas, hiking along the way and taking some amazing photos. These days the most travel we do is spending stretches of the summers at our family cottage or visiting my brother's Bed and Breakfast in Prince Edward County.
We have a cat, Dory, who we adopted six years ago from a neighbour who couldn’t take care of her anymore. She’s an older cat who likes to spend her time napping on vents and waking us up at 6am to remind us to feed her and give her lots of pets. It’s been fun to watch our cat and daughter slowly get to know each other – let’s just say it’s a work in progress.
Before, During and After the pregnancy your physical and emotional wellbeing is extremely important to us. Hand in hand with this is being respectful and responsive to your needs throughout this journey. We think the best way to do this is by having an ongoing open dialogue with you to understand what your needs might be at that time and how we can best help support you and your family.
We want to ensure that throughout this journey you are financially secure, and all pregnancy-related costs are covered. It’s such an honour for us to be part of a surrogacy journey and we want to make sure that it is as stress-free and rewarding as possible for you and that we are able to show our appreciation to you every chance we get.
The way we like to think about it is there is no such thing as too much love in a child's life.
Since our daughter was born, we continue to maintain a close relationship with the surrogate and her family and consider them to be like cousins to us and our daughter. We see them regularly and our surrogate’s family and children know us and Ruth well.
With that in mind, we are very open to maintaining a relationship with you after our sibling journey as well. We think it’s important that we respect your wishes and whatever type of contact and relationship you’re comfortable with. If exchanging photos once in a while is as much contact as you’d like, we respect and understand that; if a closer relationship develops and is desired, all the better.
Daniel & Cameron